Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Porn insights to ponder upon


I came across this post on a forum site and thought I'd share it with you. This should give you a deeper understanding on the subject. Read, enjoy and learn.



PORN
by Pete Malicki

We all love porn. It’s great, simply great. No one’s around, you have a spare five minutes, why not have a quick shot of smut? Why worry about going to the trouble of finding a real live person to have sex with when you can watch other people doing it from the comfort of your bedroom / bathroom / study / office / kitchen / wardrobe / school / public library / parents’ bedroom / child’s bedroom / internet cafĂ© / car / bus / train / church / swimming pool / doctor’s surgery / behind the garbage bins / up a tree?

If you’re a male aged between ten and dead, statistically speaking you’re addicted to internet porn. But is this so bad? What’s wrong with watching loving couples going at it?

You can define porn as ‘A depiction of sexual acts’, but simplifying the topic in such terms is like saying ‘Music is the sound made by instruments.’ Porn has as much variety as music, and you can hardly say hip-hop is the same thing as Beethoven’s symphonies.

In porn you can find men having sex with men, orgies involving dozens of strangers, blowjobs in crowded public places, hidden cameras, people having sex with animals, incest, children being raped, animated aliens fucking cartoon characters, married couples making sweet tender love, and sexual acts involving anything ranging from shit, piss, vomit, semen and blood, to dildos, leather, whips, electrodes, machines, knives, fists, feet, blindfolds, ropes, etc etc. The list extends as far human creativity. No fetish has gone unfilmed and if there’s something you want to see, no matter how illegal or bizarre, you can find it if you know where to look.

There are plenty of arguments both for and against pornography, some of them valid and some of them quite laughable. The idea in the United States that porn should be sanctioned under the First Amendment as ‘free speech’ is blatant rationalising if anything ever was. Conversely, claims that ‘All porn viewers will become violent rapists’ are absurd, even if it is true in some cases.

Those of us who are more sexually experienced, older, or more discerning will hopefully take porn for what it is (stress the word hopefully). Younger men, and those with less sexual experience, are likely to be more impressionable and more inclined to take what they see as reality.

One of my favourite defences of porn is that it ‘Teaches us what to do’ sexually, or ‘gives us ideas.’ Is this for real? Have the people who say this ever seen a porno? It gives us injuries, that’s what it does. I have this vague memory of attempting penetration during a handstand, but mostly all I recall is daytime suddenly becoming night-time and a bunch of icepacks. I’m fortunate enough to have had a colourful sex life but I haven’t tried half the weird shit I’ve seen in the videos and it’s probably for the best.

In all seriousness though, the suggestion that porn teaches us about sex is easy to refute. That’s not to say that you can’t learn from porn or gain any inspiration from it, but if you take it at face value you’re not going to learn about real sex.

We can start by forgetting about all the kinky and unusual stuff and looking at the more common content. Your standard (as in, most frequently occurring) porno contains a beautiful girl, usually young or young-looking. The guy is often ugly and at least a decade older than his partner, looking like that sleazy, desperate guy in the nightclub who can’t get a date without Roofies, except that this guy has a huge cock. He uses his physical strength and assertiveness to dominate his girl or girls. The vast majority of scenes end in the male ejaculating on his co-star’s face, breasts or vagina. Anal sex is present more often than it’s absent. The male is dipassionate and appears to care little for the girl, whereas she moans with uninhibited pleasure. Lesbian action is prevalent in male-oriented straight porn and one guy doing two girls is pretty much the norm.

As I said before, you can find porn in any form imaginable, but spend a few hours trawling the internet and you’ll see that the above is a fairly accurate description of your average scene. Thanks to the internet, this material is now available to a much wider audience. In the past, teenagers had to sneak into dad’s room and borrow his Playboy collection, but now they can go to one of the thousands of TGP (thumbnail gallery post) sites and see millions of pictures, or download / watch full movies from a torrent or streaming video site. If they don’t look for a specific thing such as gangbangs, vegetable insertions or public urination, they will likely come across what has just been described.

So this is what proponents of pornography want our youth to ‘learn’ from? Anal sex, facials, domination and huge cocks. If young men see this and believe it, they’ll be picking up some very unpopular habits.

I’m not going to tell you what to do in the bedroom (or in the car, or the bus, or the church, or up the tree) but I can make a few safe generalisations.

Number one, girls don’t like anal sex. Statistics will back this up, as will basic anatomy. Men have their g-spot in their anuses, women don’t. Many girls have tried anal but most of them don’t do it regularly. Yours might like it, and that’s wonderful for you, but the ubiquity of anal sex in porn does not reflect its popularity in real life.

Secondly, most girls don’t want to finish sex with a faceful of spunk. This is something that some girls might love or that you might do occasionally, but it is far from standard procedure. Issues of domination and humiliation aside, it’s very messy and hard to clean.

Then there are issues of inadequacy. Boys, let me tell you a huge secret – they don’t really care how big your dick is! In fact, if it’s as big as half the guys you see online, they won’t have anywhere to put it. Too small is bad, yes, but too big is even worse. We live in a society filled with men paranoid they won’t be able to please a girl with their mere six inches and unfortunately porn reinforces the falsity that bigger is better. When you’re a virgin and your only experience of sex is what you’ve seen on the internet, you will be much more inclined to worry about penis size and take on the stresses of being ‘average.’

Another point: the women in adult videos probably aren’t enjoying the sex all that much. It’s all for show. Many of the positions are impractical, uncomfortable and give both parties little pleasure. What is absolutely rare in porn, but essential in sex, is communication. Those moans of ecstasy you’re seeing are usually fake. If you don’t communicate properly – and that may involve asking questions – you might never know how little you’re doing for her. Roughly two in three women are unable to climax during penetration alone, so you’ll have to work a bit harder to get her off.

But if you’ve taken porn too seriously you might not even care about the girl’s pleasure. This is very incidental in the videos, meaning that it’s great if it happens but it isn’t the aim. Let’s be realistic here: will girls do whatever you want them to do while selflessly ignoring their own enjoyment? Very unlikely. They will expect sex to be as much about them as it is about you. If you ignore her needs in bed, she probably won’t bother with you again.

Finally, the thing with all the lesbians barely warrants the effort of a critique. Having a threesome with two bisexual girls is a common male fantasy but it won’t happen to you anywhere near as much as you’d like it to. Its commonness in porn gives the impression that it’s standard practice in real life, which is anything but true. Most people will live and die without experiencing a threesome, so get over it.

Pornography is much like the wrestling: it’s entertaining, it looks good, but it’s not real. That’s not to say that it’s evil or has no place in society, but it must be taken for what it is. In the bulk of straight porn, men are represented as potent, enviable and successful figures – even if they’re butt ugly – with beautiful women as their playthings. It is aimed at those who watch it most – men – and therefore represents male fantasy.

We live in a society that is hugely apologetic to the porn industry, often accusing critics of prudishness or old-fashioned values. In reality, we simply love our porn and will look for any reason to defend it, ignoring the damage it causes many of the actresses involved and the misconceptions it spreads throughout the wider population. Studies have showed that porn is as addictive as crack. Does that really sound healthy?

And these arguments don't even touch on rape, domination, humiliation, paedophilia, and other issues that harder porn raises.

Image Source: http://tvmedia.ign.com/tv/image/article/948/948232/james-gunns-pg-porn-20090126041253886_640w.jpg

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