Saturday, May 26, 2012


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1. Ladies, if you suspect or catch your partner cheating on you, never confront the other woman.  Yes, I've been cheated on twice in my past relationships and yes, it hurt big time. And if you ask me if I’ve been in that spot when the other woman was willing to play second fiddle to me, believe me, you have no idea. 

How I had reacted when I found out I‘d been cheated on was a far cry from what is commonly depicted in movies and teledramas where :  (1) two ladies meet face to face, exchange civil pleasantries, talk about the same man and then emotions spiral out of control during the course of the meeting.  Or there’s the more entertaining scene where (2) the lady meets the other woman face to face, engage in cheap talk, slap each other's faces and a cat fight ensues for more drama.

You get angry of course. You get angrier at your man and the other woman even. Sure you may find her to be at fault too; after all, it takes two tango. But no, you don’t confront HER. Firstly, the relationship is between you and your man. Not you and her. You don’t talk to her and ask about the score between them. You will never find the real answers to your questions. You put your trust in your man and he broke that, so why pin your anger on her?

Confront the other woman? And what, waste my time?

Besides, if your man really loved you, he wouldn’t have bitten the bait. If he really loved you, he would be strong enough not to give in to the seemingly bewitching but dangerous sorcery of an affair outside of your relationship. If he really loved you, he would have long called off and cut ties with her. But he didn’t, did he? Think about it.

Unless you’re willing to fight for him all the way, you can  drop your trust issues, take him back and forget about it or stand by him and remain suspicious. Whatever makes you happy. In my case, I cried a river, dumped the jerk, licked my wounds and got back on track. I've never been happier now.

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2. You can be happy with Mr. Right, and still get attracted to someone else. Reality check, even if you find the right person, there will always be someone who is better than him/her – more good looking, more intelligent, funnier, more sensible. There is nothing wrong if you find yourself getting attracted to someone else. It is instinctive and you can’t always control that. What you can do about it, though, is how you deal with it. The ball is totally in your court, you are not forced to act on it anyway. 

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3. A person's confidence is based on experience. So don't be afraid to experiment. While it pays to try to do good and be good, it makes sense to be bad sometimes. That's why you need those juvenile, sl***y, fuzzy moments to find out what you like, experiment and get it out of your system. In the words of Mark Twain, "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." He couldn't have hit the nail more right on the head. Let loose a little but never forget to pray.


  1. I still remember well the day "you-know-who" cheated on you back in our college days. hehe you made the right decision in the end! :)

    1. hahaha why yes, and thank you for being there for me :)