Sunday, December 20, 2009


I had a great time with my Marketing teammates last Saturday. We had dinner at Alejandro's, a Filipino restaurant which catch line screams "Home of the best Crispy Pata!". I hardly helped myself with their food though. Filipino food, though delicious, is much too adipose for me.

We stayed a little longer for some drinks. The fun was just getting started with my teammates doing their own silly antics. I found myself dancing to the tune of Beyonce's 'Single Ladies', much to their delight.

The night was young and not over yet, so we trooped to Club Vudu. It's been a while since I last went clubbing, having fun and dancing the night away.

The party scene at Vudu was more rocking than ever. People were dressed to the nines, goodlooking creatures whose presence made you stop and stare. Beneath their well-done makeup and fancy clothes, I wondered, Were these people real? Nevertheless, the party music made me dance like I didn't care.

I checked out the crowd again and realized why I don't really frequent places like this. There are just about a lot of superficial people lurking around. People who are much too worried about how they look that they forget how to have fun. Looking fabulous is not a bad thing, of course. Yet, there's the ugly truth in trying too hard to look hot and stiff just to impress. Superficial, you can say that again.

I would rather look crunk and stupid but have fun than look hot but stoic and boring.

Well, let's just say real people know how to have fun.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Brazilian Waxing at Lay Bare

I’ve long wanted to get a Brazilian wax but would chicken out each time I’d hear how painful the procedure was. But the thought of feeling cleaner and more confident just kept nagging me, so after a thorough research on Brazilian waxing, I finally decided to give it a go.

I had a tough time finding a salon that offers Brazilian waxing. I guess it isn’t as common a practice here. Luckily, I came across Lay Bare Waxing Salon, which has just opened late last month.

Now open in Cebu, Lay Bare is the leading waxing salon in Metro Manila that specializes in cold waxing.

They use cold wax jelly which is made from all-natural ingredients such as sugar, honey and calamansi. Lay Bare’s cold waxing is an affront to the typical and usually very painful hot waxing.

Getting a Brazilian wax for the first time was not as painful as I thought. The staff at Lay Bare was friendly and accommodating. Ms. Luz, my waxer, made me feel at ease during the entire process. We were chatting the entire time I was being waxed. I even texted my friends how ‘sisiw’ it felt.

Ms. Luz made sure I left the salon as baby-smooth and hair-free as possible. There is the pain, of course, but it is tolerable. While I haven’t tried hot waxing (which I don’t think I ever will), cold wax is definitely a better alternative especially for those with low tolerance for pain.

Curious about Brazilian waxing? I highly suggest you try it at least once in your life. You will definitely feel good all over.

Some tips before and after getting a Brazilian wax:
1. Avoid getting waxed three days pre and post menstruation. The skin in this area is very sensitive and will make waxing very painful.

2. Be extra clean before getting a wax. You’ll be confident enough to ‘open up’ to your waxer.

3. After waxing, refrain from washing for at least 4 hours to avoid irritation. No hot baths, hot showers or sexual activity for at least 10 hours as well. The pores in your skin are still open and are susceptible to infection.

4. Do not wear tight clothing for at least 24 hours after waxing. Tight clothing rubs against your skin and can cause red bumps or ingrowns. Wearing a thong is recommended.

Say goodbye to skin burns, allergic reactions to wax or an uber painful waxing experience. I’m definitely going back to Lay Bare salon.

Lay Bare is located at the 2nd floor of Banilad Town Center. They also have another branch in SM City Cebu. 

Sunday, November 22, 2009

5 Ways Companies Breed Incompetence

Incompetence is a national epidemic. Kids leave high school not knowing how to spell, C-level executives think they can supercede macroeconomic laws, government executives practically sell incompetence wholesale.

Fortunately, incompetence has definable roots. Identifying these roots helps companies peg where they are breeding incompetence, then modify their shortcomings to benefit of both managers and employees.

If you’re concerned about incompetence in your company, check out the five tips below to see what might be causing it–and how to deal with it:


Remedy: Rate performance not by number, but by quality of conversations. Train staff in better technique and measure performance from there.


Cost-cutting is an essential component of survival, but it’s also a quick and dirty way to overburden competent employees, thus breeding incompetence. How many times have you heard the story of such-and-such a manager who, when all her other employees were laid off, was forced to run a department all by herself? Companies need to realize that even the most competent employee can’t, by herself, replace an entire team.

Remedy: If staff must be cut, companies need to make a bigger effort to help remaining employees stay competent. Is there room in the budget for contractors? How about telecommuting, which would take some of the travel burden off the employee? New types of collaboration that would spread the job between multiple people?


This is an onus both of employers and employees. Both parties expect instant performance; when it doesn’t happen, managers grow disappointed and employees grow disillusioned. I’ve seen many bright-eyed employees enter new jobs with gusto, then fizzle and drag after months of not seeing the results they’d hoped for.

Managers who expect employees to know everything from the outset grow impatient when they have to answer too many questions; those who sought miracles from their new employees become wary when progress is slow. It’s the beginning of communication breakdown, which often turns deadly.

Remedy: Unless it’s clear from the outset that the person has to hit the ground running, set scalable performance goals. Print out these goals and have the employee post them on his/her cube wall. Make expectations absolutely clear. Do the same with resources like training managers, helpful websites, etc.

If you’re an employee, clearly communicate your limitations at the very beginning. You can do this without making yourself sound incompetent. Promise a company only what you can deliver. Make it clear that you want to grow with the company, not fester inside of it.


It’s a fact of life that schmoozing often gets you further than quality performance. Unfortunately, some company cultures overemphasize the social aspect, resulting in employees who feel their advancement hinges more profoundly on department happy hours than innovation or quality of service. The result? The aggregate quality of the company suffers, and employees grow overly political or bored.

Remedy: Put a premium on what the employee is doing for the company, not for his/her social network. Don’t mistake personal affinity for organizational benefit. Making performance standards clear from the outset and having an employee report his results on a regular basis are two ways to emphasize accountability.


Imagine you’re a gung-ho new hire employee at Franklin Widgets, Inc. You come into the job ready to make an impact–until you notice that everyone spends most of their time staring slack-jawed at Facebook. After you realize you’re safe from managerial scrutiny, you join them. Why should you work hard if nobody else is?

Remedy: The onus is on managers to create a sense of urgency and accountability. Describing how to do this is beyond the scope of this post, but John P. Kotter’s work is an excellent place to start.

Full article on

Monday, November 16, 2009

Make My Day

A day after a hard day’s work.

Cyril and I went to get a massage at a known spa, which was having a promo too good to resist. Much to our chagrin, the massage wasn’t good at all. The masseuse was too hard on my beat-up body. Worse, she was using her hands as if she were kneading dough in a hurry. What would you expect from a hundred-peso service anyway? I am so not going back to that spa ever.

Then we headed to the nearest fastfood joint for dinner. Cyril wanted to have palabok but the cashier said it was not available. So he went for the batchoy instead. Still unavailable. I ordered light Coke to go with my meal but the cashier told me they already ran out of it. So I said I’d have a rootbeer. Still, there was none. I always have my meal there with ice cream, so I asked her if they had it. You figure it out. Yes, you got it right.

My blood pressure was starting to shoot up a hundred degrees. Doesn’t it suck when you’re starved as hell, run to the nearest fastfood diner only to find that they barely even have meals to serve? Up until now, and even if I may have once worked in a fastfood hub, I still don’t get why customers are made to wait for “15 minutes” to have their meal. Doesn’t that defeat the essence of “fastfood”? I’d rather they close and call it a day.

But yes, I remain that I have once worked in a fastfood hub. I have been in similar situations as this so even if I wanted to strangle the cashier for offering nothing, I chose to remain calm and collected. I then reached for the drinking straw box but found that it was empty. Oh, and not to mention that they ran out of condiments too. Sh*t.

I wanted to finish my drink, but felt the urge to go home when he showed a lack of sensitivity. Details withheld, if you may but I from that point I lost my cool. I honestly felt bad; up until now I still do. It’s just that I don’t want to call other people to do what he should do for me. Not that I can’t do it on my own, but was it ever too much to ask for something so little? Oh, need I tell you we were supposed to be celebrating what could have been a special day for us?

When I got home, I sat in front of the computer to upload random pictures I couldn’t wait to show to my friends. Two hours passed and I was still re-booting the computer many a time. I went up to my room, damn frustrated.

Before hitting the sack, I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. The fiber tabs I've been taking must be really working, thank God. Worst case scenario, the toilet bowl was clogged - again. So I had to spend another hour flushing the damn thing.

Sooo not my day.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

No load? No problem!

If you have run out of prepaid credits or want to enjoy free texting, check out This is a new web-based service that allows you to send text messages to Globe or Smart users for FREE.

A good thing about this service is that it is easier to use. Simply select your recipient's network and area code, type in the 7-digit number and then your message. No more registration hassles. However, there is no way your recipient can identify or reply to you through this application, so make sure to identify yourself in the message box so your recipient will know how to get back to you.

To avail of its free text messaging service, simply go to the website. Go to the right portion of the page, where you will find Unlitxt Messenger, and start sending messages.

I tried this service for myself and it did work. I sent a message to my boyfriend and my own number, and the sender number was +639279531084. I suppose the sender number would also be different for Smart recipients.

Whoever said nothing comes for free these days?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Roommate

Raffy and I!

They say that you will never know who a person truly is unless you live with him/her. I believe that in a way. Today, my roomie Raffy and I are leaving Johnny's place for good. It's sad that we have to go our separate ways.

I have always hated goodbyes. It even gets worse letting go of someone who has been dear to you and have shared good memories with. But I know that the path he willl take be a a bigger and brighter one and I couldn't be happier for him.

Today, he will have finished packing up and left, myself not knowing when I will ever see him again. The room we have been renting for four months will have been emptied of our clutter. This morning just might be the last time we greeted each other 'good morning', talked and hugged.

I will miss how we don't agree with the use of the a/c.

I will miss eating out at our suking carinderia, which we painstakingly have to do because we do not have a choice.

I will miss whining with you about our high monthly bills. (or maybe it was just me) ;-)

I will miss the two of us raving about Whitney Houston's songs and digging the same type of music.

I will miss your neverending supply of tissue paper, greaseless peanuts and other food. (compliments from Cha!)

I will miss our network war and your snide remarks on Kapuso stars. (much to Cyril's delight, hehe)

I will miss our conversations, from the highly confidential to the most absurd. (winks!)

Most of all, I will miss you. It has been a fun four months of 'living together' with you. Hasta Mañana.

Thursday, October 15, 2009


Yesterday I had a very bad case of PMS. My poor boyfie had to face the brunt of my uncontrolled, irrational outbursts, which constituted pointless nagging, careless bitching, fleeting silence and sudden, unexplainable acts of sweetness.

I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or get angrier with how he tried to put up with me. I sensed he was careful and calculated with what he was going to say or how he’d act around. I was too damn oblivious to even care with mine.

Amongst many other things that happened yesterday while we were together, I flared up at the thought that he ordered another meal for our dinner. He was still hungry because he didn’t have a decent lunch, he explained.

Whether I lost my cool because he wanted a heavy meal even when we’re supposed to eat light OR because he paid a part of our meal when he knew that dinner was on me, I didn’t know. I didn’t care that the meal I ordered for him must have been inadequate for his huge appetite. I didn’t understand that he was still hungry (and tired) from a hard day’s work.

I looked at him, leaned a little closer and said “Don’t you ever get sick and tired of my constant nagging? Don’t you ever wish I never nagged at all?

I’ve gotten used to it. I hear nagging from my mother and sisters at home. What else is new?

Well don’t you want to break free from home? (sounding sarcastic) Get a breath of fresh air?” I snapped.

Well, there’s no place like home.”

My mood changed again.

Monday, October 12, 2009

The Macbay experience

A nice cup of coffee and a good book: Life's simple pleasures
While I like to indulge myself to a good cup of coffee once in a while, I have never understood what makes coffee shops appealing a spot for people to meet or chill out. I've never been a big fan of coffee shops. If anything, I would like to enjoy my cup of coffee at a place where it's both convenient and comfortable.

When my good friend Davey and I heard about Macbay coffee shop, we knew we just had to go. What I really like about Macbay, aside from its soothing interiors and great-tasting coffee, is that they provide laptops free of charge. The prices of their coffee are easy on the wallet too.

irish cream latte, anyone?

I''ve come to love the place, a great hub to just sit and read a good book alone, enjoy wifi Internet or cozy up with my best chums while sipping my favorite caffeine fix.

Macbay is located in One Acacia Place, corner Acacia St. and Archbishop Reyes road, Cebu City.

Sunday, October 11, 2009


For four years now, I’ve been using a badly chipped, bruised but still trusty Nokia 2600. The phone looks too beat up worthy of everyone’s ridicule yet unworthy for even a thief to pay any mind.

This was the phone I bought four years ago with my own money. I remember going to the store and picking what I first saw out of dire need – a sleek and simple Nokia 2600. At that time I had to make do with a Nokia 8210 (which was still a hot item), a gift from my then-boyfriend.

After a bitter break-up followed by a catty feud, I knew I had to get rid of the damn thing. Returning it to him would be stupid. Pawning or selling it would have been a cool idea. However, using it to meet and greet other guys would no longer validate the fact why we broke up in the first place.

Well-meaning people wonder why I refuse to get a new phone, still remaining loyal to this rather obsolete model even when my salary can somehow afford me to buy a way better looking celly.

I have never been good at penny-pinching especially when it comes to luxuries, so that won’t be a reason. If it is because this phone holds a sentimental value to me, I really don’t know.

I guess I'm just not the type who is particuar with the latest in gadgets, or the kind of person who has to get what's new because it's what's in ergo wreaking havoc on my social status. Sure I ogle at sleek, new models at times, even wish that my phone had a camera to take snapshots of me in my random i feel-pretty-and-need-a-camera-quick' moments.

Who cares? My worth is not measured by the model of phone I use anyway.

Of course, these high-end phones capable of doing infinitely many tasks can prove to be very useful especially to people constantly on-the-go. But as long as my phone is still able to perform what it is basically designed to do – call and text – then, that shouldn’t be a problem to me at all. Okay, so I use it as my alarm clock, calculator and calendar too.

Besides, my job requires me to sit for eight hours or more in front of a computer, doing intense clacking and constant tab browsing. So between my lappy or a new celly, you know what I’d choose.

My Nokia 2600 is still highly functional; never mind the form. A little replacement on the exterior though, and I’m good to go.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Moving Out. Moving In. Moving On.

I am currently renting the most comfortable room most conveniently located in one of Cebu City's major avenues. The room is as big as my department and has a nice bathroom.

I lay on a cozy, queen size bed with an exquisitely carved headboard. Since then, I've never had any sleeping problems.

I've stopped complaining about the weather as well. Whenever it's hot and the electric fan could no longer cool me, I just turn on the airconditioner and I wouldn't think of going out anywhere cool.

Also, moving in has made my life easier when it comes to using the bathroom knowing I don't have to wait for someone, or two, even three people to finish first.

The view is great outside my room; it is overlooking the busy hub. I can even set up a nice, romantic dinner right there - the view is actually even better at night.

All these will not happen anymore in two weeks time. I will be moving to another room that is not even half of the room I'm currently living in. The space will no longer allow me to move about, prance and dance around like I do just yet.

I will no longer be enjoying the pleasure and comfort of rolling on the bed and will soon try to master the art of 'stiff sleeping'.

I will be sharing the bathroom with other girls and I will have to rely only on my good ol' electric fan should the sun turn up its fury.

I am not complaining. After all, I chose this place. It's a good thing this soon-to-be place is clean and new. Well maybe I am just getting way too comfortable with my place now. It's hard to let go of something that has given you the satisfaction you need.

But then, it's not as if I haven't experienced terrible living conditions renting a room in this city. No wonder the 'room-for-rent' business is so feasible.

I have to move out. It's the smartest thing to do. Come 'pay day', my roomie Raffy and I would both experience the stress of looking at our bill, wondering how our electricity had gone up that high. We'd go weak taking out our hard-earned money from our wallets. I must admit the comfort we experience comes with a price - hefty at that, often leaving us with barely enough to last us for the next payday. Getting a new roommate could help (Raffy will be leaving for UK very soon, yay!), but it will not probably change a thing.

So I am downgrading this time. After all, consumer behavior dictates that my choices should go within my budget constraints. I am now consciously trying to make sure that every peso spent on anything is truly well worth it.

Moving out.
Moving in.
Moving on.

Thursday, October 1, 2009


The recent events happening not only in the country but around the world have it made gloomy a way to start October.

Soon after typhoon Ondoy devastated Luzon,it has then raged it's fury into Vietnam. Yesterday, a powerful earthquake struck Indonesia as well as a tsunami that hit Samoa, all claiming thousands of lives and leaving more people in a state of nothingness.

My heart bleeds to see all these happening. Each time I check the latest updates on tv, Twitter or Facebook, I feel a sense of helplessness watching them in ruins knowing I can only do so much. Somehow the pain and suffering brought about by these calamities, particularly typhoon Ondoy, is assuaged by the strong spirit of 'bayanihan' among Filipinos. I put my 'red' leanings aside and focus more on what I can do to help.

I am filled with pride and joy to know that many out there have the kindness and compassion to help - those who never stop caring for those in need. One has yet to recover from this horrible tragedy. As if the damage is not enough, another typhoon (Pepeng) is said to enter the country very soon. In this seemingly apathetic world, perhaps now is the time to make a difference.

Image Source:

Sunday, September 27, 2009

typhoon Ondoy

Image source:

I woke up this cold morning, thankful for a good night's sleep. The weather here in Cebu has been pretty fickle - strong winds with light to heavy rains turning to bright, sunny skies but is still generally okay for going out and about our usual activities.

I checked my Facebook to find that most of my friends' status updates were about typhoon Ondoy (international name 'Ketsana'), the latest that hit Metro Manila and other parts of Luzon. I must say Ondoy's hitting the country really nasty. As of the latest report, 51 have died and more people are missing. It's tragic and sad all the same.

Ondoy is sweeping Luzon away pretty badly and I am hoping and praying for the victims and all those who are affected by it. It is at this very trying time when, more than anything, everyone should help everyone. It is not about who is out there and it is definitely not about highlighting what one is doing about the situation. It is everyone's role and responsibility to help.

Friday, September 25, 2009

I remember...

I bumped into someone at the mall yesterday. He was with a lady, his wife. We smiled at each other and that was it. We passed by each other, he wrapping his arm around the lady's waist while I went on talking to my girl pal.

I surmise that if his wife werent with him, he would have stopped and we would have chatted up a bit. After all, we were friends, close friends at that. But I know things have changed now that he's married to the girl that came before and after me. Oh well, there never really was us but we had something together. It was good while it lasted.

Then I remember the first time we met; when we danced the night away; that first kiss; those sweet nothings; the time we lost touch; that day we met again; the time he asked me out once more; the moment he introduced me to his friends and danced the night away again - just the two of us; the early morning he shared his whole life to me; the moment I looked into his eyes filled with tears.

And then there came a time when I avoided him, not because I didn't want to but because I had to. A few YM conversations later, I would find out that he had married and had a kid too. How wouldn't I have known? He works in the same company with my boyfriend. Small world, isn't it?

I am truly happy for him. I know he is happy for me too. I will look back with a wonderful recall the happy moments I have shared with him, though not the feeling, and I will always hope for nothing but the best for him and his family.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

There goes my mojo!

I can't believe it's been more than a month since I last posted something new here. I guess in the seemingly long while that I haven't blogged I felt that I have lost my mojo. That depressing feeling of not knowing what to do anymore, to the point that I didn't want to do the things I've always enjoyed, including this.

But now I am back with a vengeance. Unchronicled highlights of my life and my musings of the world I try to look back and would have wanted to share with you here, and now I feel remorseful. Moving forward, I must say I now have my groove back. I'm up and blog-giddy.

Hello blogosphere! I am sooo back!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


I could have wanted to ignore PGMA’s SONA yesterday. After all, I have never been wrong with my expectations that I wasn’t going to hear anything true anyway. Hats off to her, though, for delivering really feisty lines throughout her speech. She must have a really talented writer, or a team of writers. If she came up with the speech all by herself, then I must say I’m impressed.

What I paid more attention to was the so-called SONA Fashion. Politicians looking slick and sophisticated in their crisp-white barong tagalogs or fancy Filipiniana gowns. Lovely wives of politicians in matching shoes and bags (don’t forget the expensive jewelry) and their children all dolled up at their most adorable.

One lady senator, who looked lovely in her gown, said she had it made at a cheap price because she was only going to use it once. The price? More than what I get for a bi-monthly pay.

There was also this wife of a legislator, whose features proudly highlights the revelry of cosmetic enhancement, explained with the right mix of confidence and nonchalance what inspired her to wear that dress - a piece that was more appropriate if she were at Hugh Hefner’s party and would look much better on her if she were ten years younger.

Other ladies came in stealing the scene, gamely posing for the camera and quick enough to answer who they’re wearing.

So that was what the SONA was all about. Ostentatious glamour. Such blatant display of luxury is a mockery to the greater majority of the Filipino people. PGMA must be right: watching them clad in high-end fashion must speak of their ‘lifestyles and spending habits that make them walking proofs of that crime‘. After all, aren’t our government officials supposed to espouse modesty in all their ways?

Those inside the House of Representatives, clapping endlessly for no reason at all, seem to have forgotten that although they are the country’s leaders, they are still public servants. It’s appalling to watch these people flaunting themselves with their luxuries when many of our Filipino people are dying of hunger.

It’s sickening to see a lot of them looking a little too much for the event when everyday, more and more Filipinos are forced to go abroad because they couldn’t find decent jobs in their own country, not minding the portent that they might come back home sealed in coffins.

It’s depressing to hear that while their children speak fluent English, many other children do not have access to good education or are forced to drop out of school to work, if only to help feed their family’s empty stomachs.

This flagrant showcase of material wealth only justifies just how corrupt the system is and how they’re only serving themselves, and not the very people they pledged to serve.

PGMA’s SONA was just all for the show. The true state of the nation is out there. Let’s not play blind here.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Porn insights to ponder upon

I came across this post on a forum site and thought I'd share it with you. This should give you a deeper understanding on the subject. Read, enjoy and learn.

by Pete Malicki

We all love porn. It’s great, simply great. No one’s around, you have a spare five minutes, why not have a quick shot of smut? Why worry about going to the trouble of finding a real live person to have sex with when you can watch other people doing it from the comfort of your bedroom / bathroom / study / office / kitchen / wardrobe / school / public library / parents’ bedroom / child’s bedroom / internet café / car / bus / train / church / swimming pool / doctor’s surgery / behind the garbage bins / up a tree?

If you’re a male aged between ten and dead, statistically speaking you’re addicted to internet porn. But is this so bad? What’s wrong with watching loving couples going at it?

You can define porn as ‘A depiction of sexual acts’, but simplifying the topic in such terms is like saying ‘Music is the sound made by instruments.’ Porn has as much variety as music, and you can hardly say hip-hop is the same thing as Beethoven’s symphonies.

In porn you can find men having sex with men, orgies involving dozens of strangers, blowjobs in crowded public places, hidden cameras, people having sex with animals, incest, children being raped, animated aliens fucking cartoon characters, married couples making sweet tender love, and sexual acts involving anything ranging from shit, piss, vomit, semen and blood, to dildos, leather, whips, electrodes, machines, knives, fists, feet, blindfolds, ropes, etc etc. The list extends as far human creativity. No fetish has gone unfilmed and if there’s something you want to see, no matter how illegal or bizarre, you can find it if you know where to look.

There are plenty of arguments both for and against pornography, some of them valid and some of them quite laughable. The idea in the United States that porn should be sanctioned under the First Amendment as ‘free speech’ is blatant rationalising if anything ever was. Conversely, claims that ‘All porn viewers will become violent rapists’ are absurd, even if it is true in some cases.

Those of us who are more sexually experienced, older, or more discerning will hopefully take porn for what it is (stress the word hopefully). Younger men, and those with less sexual experience, are likely to be more impressionable and more inclined to take what they see as reality.

One of my favourite defences of porn is that it ‘Teaches us what to do’ sexually, or ‘gives us ideas.’ Is this for real? Have the people who say this ever seen a porno? It gives us injuries, that’s what it does. I have this vague memory of attempting penetration during a handstand, but mostly all I recall is daytime suddenly becoming night-time and a bunch of icepacks. I’m fortunate enough to have had a colourful sex life but I haven’t tried half the weird shit I’ve seen in the videos and it’s probably for the best.

In all seriousness though, the suggestion that porn teaches us about sex is easy to refute. That’s not to say that you can’t learn from porn or gain any inspiration from it, but if you take it at face value you’re not going to learn about real sex.

We can start by forgetting about all the kinky and unusual stuff and looking at the more common content. Your standard (as in, most frequently occurring) porno contains a beautiful girl, usually young or young-looking. The guy is often ugly and at least a decade older than his partner, looking like that sleazy, desperate guy in the nightclub who can’t get a date without Roofies, except that this guy has a huge cock. He uses his physical strength and assertiveness to dominate his girl or girls. The vast majority of scenes end in the male ejaculating on his co-star’s face, breasts or vagina. Anal sex is present more often than it’s absent. The male is dipassionate and appears to care little for the girl, whereas she moans with uninhibited pleasure. Lesbian action is prevalent in male-oriented straight porn and one guy doing two girls is pretty much the norm.

As I said before, you can find porn in any form imaginable, but spend a few hours trawling the internet and you’ll see that the above is a fairly accurate description of your average scene. Thanks to the internet, this material is now available to a much wider audience. In the past, teenagers had to sneak into dad’s room and borrow his Playboy collection, but now they can go to one of the thousands of TGP (thumbnail gallery post) sites and see millions of pictures, or download / watch full movies from a torrent or streaming video site. If they don’t look for a specific thing such as gangbangs, vegetable insertions or public urination, they will likely come across what has just been described.

So this is what proponents of pornography want our youth to ‘learn’ from? Anal sex, facials, domination and huge cocks. If young men see this and believe it, they’ll be picking up some very unpopular habits.

I’m not going to tell you what to do in the bedroom (or in the car, or the bus, or the church, or up the tree) but I can make a few safe generalisations.

Number one, girls don’t like anal sex. Statistics will back this up, as will basic anatomy. Men have their g-spot in their anuses, women don’t. Many girls have tried anal but most of them don’t do it regularly. Yours might like it, and that’s wonderful for you, but the ubiquity of anal sex in porn does not reflect its popularity in real life.

Secondly, most girls don’t want to finish sex with a faceful of spunk. This is something that some girls might love or that you might do occasionally, but it is far from standard procedure. Issues of domination and humiliation aside, it’s very messy and hard to clean.

Then there are issues of inadequacy. Boys, let me tell you a huge secret – they don’t really care how big your dick is! In fact, if it’s as big as half the guys you see online, they won’t have anywhere to put it. Too small is bad, yes, but too big is even worse. We live in a society filled with men paranoid they won’t be able to please a girl with their mere six inches and unfortunately porn reinforces the falsity that bigger is better. When you’re a virgin and your only experience of sex is what you’ve seen on the internet, you will be much more inclined to worry about penis size and take on the stresses of being ‘average.’

Another point: the women in adult videos probably aren’t enjoying the sex all that much. It’s all for show. Many of the positions are impractical, uncomfortable and give both parties little pleasure. What is absolutely rare in porn, but essential in sex, is communication. Those moans of ecstasy you’re seeing are usually fake. If you don’t communicate properly – and that may involve asking questions – you might never know how little you’re doing for her. Roughly two in three women are unable to climax during penetration alone, so you’ll have to work a bit harder to get her off.

But if you’ve taken porn too seriously you might not even care about the girl’s pleasure. This is very incidental in the videos, meaning that it’s great if it happens but it isn’t the aim. Let’s be realistic here: will girls do whatever you want them to do while selflessly ignoring their own enjoyment? Very unlikely. They will expect sex to be as much about them as it is about you. If you ignore her needs in bed, she probably won’t bother with you again.

Finally, the thing with all the lesbians barely warrants the effort of a critique. Having a threesome with two bisexual girls is a common male fantasy but it won’t happen to you anywhere near as much as you’d like it to. Its commonness in porn gives the impression that it’s standard practice in real life, which is anything but true. Most people will live and die without experiencing a threesome, so get over it.

Pornography is much like the wrestling: it’s entertaining, it looks good, but it’s not real. That’s not to say that it’s evil or has no place in society, but it must be taken for what it is. In the bulk of straight porn, men are represented as potent, enviable and successful figures – even if they’re butt ugly – with beautiful women as their playthings. It is aimed at those who watch it most – men – and therefore represents male fantasy.

We live in a society that is hugely apologetic to the porn industry, often accusing critics of prudishness or old-fashioned values. In reality, we simply love our porn and will look for any reason to defend it, ignoring the damage it causes many of the actresses involved and the misconceptions it spreads throughout the wider population. Studies have showed that porn is as addictive as crack. Does that really sound healthy?

And these arguments don't even touch on rape, domination, humiliation, paedophilia, and other issues that harder porn raises.

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Thursday, July 9, 2009


Is being nice to a guy (who has the hots for you) tantamount to flirting? See there is this guy at work who is brazen enough to let everyone in his and my department know that he likes me, so much so that it has roused curiosity about my identity or raised awareness from even those in other departments (who give a fart, of course)

He flirts through office email and tries to do so each time we bump into each other inside the floor. And as far as my Facebook activities are concerned, he’d post casual comments on my wall, if at all, he was interested with my shilly-shally. My reciprocal action rests on curt, lighthearted replies though, to avoid being misinterpreted by others.

I appreciate that someone, other than my boyfriend, likes me. I am flattered that some guys actually notice. In fact, I don’t see any girl who doesn’t. It boosts her confidence and makes her feel prettier than everyone else. Let me reiterate that I have a boyfriend, so flirting with other guys is out of the question. Unless I’m single, I might return the favor. But I am not attracted to him either. If I couldn’t find any good reason to bite the bait, I don’t see how you could, too. Now tell me.

By being plain friendly to someone who appears ‘too friendly’ does not mean you encourage the possibility of something that is more than just friendship to happen.

By maintaining good working relationships with someone who really likes you certainly does not mean you’re returning the favor either, even if he may not understand that flirting through office email is downright cheap or that being flagrantly flirtatious can be annoying or embarrassing.

Some girls are just nice – too nice. I guess I just happen to be one of them.

Just because I am being nice to him doesn’t mean I’m flirting, you know.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Punctuation Matters

I came across this interesting post from my office buddy. See how punctuation really makes a difference when communicating with people. Read carefully.

Punctuation Makes a Difference

I would rather receive a letter like this one.

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours? Gloria

than like this one:

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours, Gloria

Yet, the only difference is the punctuation.

See? :)

Monday, June 29, 2009

What Death Can Touch

I was stunned to hear the news about the passing of pop superstar Michael Jackson and ‘Charlie’s Angel’ Farrah Fawcett, two of the most influential figures of their time. I thought of Jackson’s death to be untimely. I felt that it wasn't his time yet, as I know that he still has so much to prove given the controversies that have shrouded his career and personal life. It's just sad that Michael Jackson never got the chance to make a good comeback before it all ended for him.

I thought of Farrah Fawcett's long battle with rectal cancer a brave fight. It's worthy to note that even in her numbered days, she never lost hope and continued fighting the disease with incredible courage. That even in her last days, she carried on to share her long and painful ordeal with rectal cancer in the hope of inspiring others. She was a spokesperson for the American Cancer Society and an advocate against colorectal cancer, zealous in her cause to raise deeper awareness for this type of disease.

Frankly though, I am more affected by the death of Farrah Fawcett than Michael Jackson's. I have my hands down for the King of Pop - his contributions to the music and entertainment industry invaluable. But I have an even deeper and greater sense of respect and admiration for Farrah Fawcett, whose struggle was truly well-worthy to be told.

The passing of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett not only shows how much they have contributed to the entertainment industry but also how much influence they have on the rest of the world. It is a stark reminder that even in one’s greatness, one can never get away with the inevitable that is death; that one can never cheat death regardless of who you are or what you have. Indeed, death comes like a thief in the night, unbeknownst to you.

Losing a loved one may bring about a great deal of emotional pain and trauma. Some may find it hard to accept why it happened and move on with their lives. I should know. I lost my mother to cancer too. I was angry, sad, hurt and depressed. I was just too young and too naive at that time. I was just not ready to accept that my mother's already gone. But I had to move on.

One grieves in his own way and time, and it is important to accept that there is a reason for what happened, even if you may not clearly see it. Eventually, you will understand why. By accepting the situation, you free yourself from the pain and are then ready to move on with your life. One thing that death can touch is the idea that you can look at it in a positive light.

Death should not be viewed as a mere loss or an end; it should be looked upon as a gain and a start of a new and uncharted journey.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

And happy birthdays are made of moments like these!

I celebrated the happiest 24th birthday ever. Nothing made my day a very happy one than being with the people I love the most. And oh, need I mention the gifts and greetings too? ;)

I love Krua Thai food!

Bubba and my stuffed tummy =)

with my sissy

"Family" dinner at Krua Thai (my fave resto!)

Very happy me!

My good friend Marian made this cool video too. Check it out.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Birth of Graysey

I can’t believe I have but started a new blog for the nth time. I have, for a while, wanted to maintain just one blog that had all my rants and raves in it. (I’m guilty of blog clutter – I blog practically everywhere). I figured that this step would be an answer to my conundrum.

Blogging is my other side of narcissism, camwhoring aside. This is where I get to talk about myself, my life and everything else about me – an outlet where I can only be self-absorbed and not give a fart about what everyone else thinks. After all, this is my blog.

I’m pretty sure Cyril has a reason to nag me into blogging more often now, since he successfully fixed my age-old lappy. I hope to keep this blog updated as often as I can. Writer’s block will always be my enemy but I will have to keep in mind that there are other things that can stop me from wanting to write. (think the lack of, or absence of motivation; no Internet connection; busy schedule; or worse, brain loss)

Anyway, let’s get this blog rolling!