Saturday, February 26, 2011

Would you believe me if I lied?

Reposting this from my Friendster blog. Just one of my older posts I dont cringe re-reading at all. 

I love the usual office chatter. It is, perhaps, the only breather i get from the gruesome work that i do in my little blue cubicle. There’s always witty banter involved, with lots of humor to boot. Anyone in the room can just bring up a topic or throw a question at anyone, and you have to think on your toes and come up with something that will them blow them away. 

Of course, that’s not expected of me, nor I am obliged to do so anyway. But between shutting them out of their wits and enjoying the amusement of being playfully picked on, you know what I’d go for.

The other day, one of my officemates asked a female colleague in the room at what age she lost her virginity. Without batting an eyelash, she answered, and the rest broke out in chorus. Then, they turned to me and asked the same question.

"Mel, how old were you when you did it?"

"Would you believe me if I lied?" I said.

For a second or two, the room went silent. Dinky, my trainer and the eldest in the team, broke the silence and said "Philosophical ang approach ni Mel, ah."

What am I trying to say? Whether or not i am a virgin, it’s none of their business. And even if it didn’t matter to them whether or not i am a virgin, it’s still not their business to know. Besides, being asked that kind of question from people i barely even know on a personal level is like being given lingerie by a boyfriend on our first date. You get the picture.

You don’t have to know. And i dont have to tell you.

image source:

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Goodbye, baby Cy

In the afternoon of February 1st, I met up with Cy's father and two sisters, Cherry and Cyndie, at a diner close to my office. They wanted to see me, and when I spotted them at the table, they didn't look too good.   I sat down with them, with my attempts to create a cheery environment gone futile. Tito, in between biting into his sandwich and fighting tears, broke the news. "Wala na siya, day".

I looked at Ate Cherry, who was holding back her tears and wouldn't look at me in the eye. I couldn't believe what I heard that I kept asking them what he meant. That was when tito explained what happened. No one in the family had the courage to tell Cyril about it, and wanted me to let him know. 

I didn't know how to tell Cyril about it either. Since he heard about the accident, he was just not the same. He was so sad and worried it bothered me that he didn't want to talk whenever I'd catch him online. That night before they told me that baby Cyrus was gone, Cyril told me to visit them at the hospital because he had a bad feeling about something. But it was too late. Their little angel had to go. 

But I had to, and he had to know. I called him up, and as composed as I could be, I broke the news to him. That was the first time I ever heard him cry. 

Cyril dearly loved his nephew. I saw how he was there for him even when he was still in Ate Cherry's womb. He'd buy whatever they needed or even fancied for their little angel. Everytime we're together, he'd never miss talking about 'dodong', as he'd fondly call, his face always lightening up whenever he was the topic. My boyfriend stood more like baby Cy's father, in the absence of his papa who needed to work abroad for his family.

No one ever thought this was going to happen. He was spoiled by the family and everyone was very fond of him. I remember how I used to carry him into my arms and play with him each time I was with them. I couldn't get enough of him because he was too cute and adorable, nevermind if he drained everyone off their energies because he was hyper, which was normal of babies.

We couldn't believe how one incident could lead to his passing. I feel for Ate Cherry, her anguish over the  babysitter for not telling what really transpired even when medical results showed something did happen; for making false statements about baby Cy, whom she said was 'sickly', just so she could cover up for her negligence; for having the nerve to utter words of nonchalance about what happened and walk freely around town without a hint of remorse.

I am sad this happened to baby Cy. I am sorry this happened to Cy's family. I couldn't bear hearing the pain in Cyril's voice everytime we'd talk on the phone, or see him cry whenever he'd go on videochat. And though it sucks because he's away, all we could do is to be strong and pray.

And though we may never know why God took baby Cy, it is in prayer that we come to understand why this had to happen. It is in submitting, surrendering and lifting up everything to Him wherein we find peace deep within. In time, we will.

Goodbye, Dodong...